For the past days all I did was study. I went through the almighty CCC final with it’s three parts. The 1st & the 3rd were acceptable, but the 2nd was disastrous & “7a8eer”. I got out of the exam room feeling numb, I was supposed to be happy it’s over yet I felt nothing like that. As the hours passed I started feeling tired, frustrated & exhausted. My eyes teared up not because I was sad but because I was tired. The tears socked my eyes for exactly 1 minute then they dried out. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t I just couldn’t.
I treated myself with an outing with my best friend & we started talking about our future plans. I had fun yet there was this nagging feeling inside me that wouldn’t go away. We sat in the restaurant for three hours then went home. It was around 9:30 so I decided to sleep. I played season 5 of SATC on my laptop & started watching. In between the episodes I was bbming a couple of my friends & I said stuff I shouldn’t have said. The next day I woke up at 1 pm & it downed to me that I might be in an emotional breakdown coz my politeness shield was gone last night & I had hurt some of the ppl I love. I woke up wishing that if I started studying surgery I’d feel better.
I set up my papers & books, then called one of my friends, what she said shocked me. She announced that she had called the coarse director and kind of gotten the final exam questions. To me it felt like cheating, pure cheating and I don’t like that. I have failed many exams during my college life because I’d rather fail than cheat. Those are my standards. Yet I found that almost everyone were okay with it & considered it a good thing. To me it’s taking the easy way out & being lazy. And I also see it that in the future you the cheater may kill a person & try to go around the system to save you ass since your standards are okay to take something you haven’t earned.
My closest friend say I’m over-reacting and I should let it go, I may be over-reacting but I can’t just sit & watch. This subject irritates me the most, and although I’m not a perfect person. What’s right is right & what’s wrong is wrong & they’re both as clear as the sun.

I was supposed to write this post last night yet yesterday was a bit of a busy day. I woke up at 10 am and jumped around my room to get ready as fast as I could since I was late to the revision class they scheduled for u that started AT 10 am. I got to class, attended whatever was left of it till 1 pm. I set off to my clinic, I had my two last appointments as a dentist/student. I was worried and anxious, the lab had gotten me the dentures but I had no idea if they’d fit or not.. And I couldn’t afford them not fitting! My 1st patient arrived and alhamdillah the denture fit perfectly. I called my supervisor to check on it & sign my requirement’s sheet. I was smiling yet still the 2nd patient wasn’t done yet. I waited and waited. Her appointment was at 2.. But she showed up at 3 ! I didn’t comment on her lack of punctuality since it was her last appointment. I tried in the denture & it needed a bit of alteration then fit perfectly too alhamdillah. I called the other supervisor to check on & he approved. He took out his stamp from his pocket, stamped his name on my papers and signed the last signature I needed to complete my case. I felt a mixture of relief & extreme happiness. I wanted to scream & cry. Yet I didn’t just to keep my posture in front of both the doctor & the patient. I gave her the instructions needed & told her this is her last visit. She was so happy & thanked me.
After she left I stood there in my clinic, cleaning up for the last time thinking.. This is it. I’m done. It’s over. No more running around, no more frustration, no more patient hunting, no more misery, no more.. No more ! 6th year is officially over. I was and still am at this moment in a state of disbelief, I had crossed the bridge, walked the journey & made it till the end. I had my doubts, oh how big & strong they were, doubts deep in my heart that I may not have the strength nor the will to do this. But I did it, I really truly did it !
I got home at around 4 pm ate my lunch then went to my papers. I sat there trying to read but couldn’t.. I felt so tired, like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. I decided to give myself the rest it needed, the rest it earned. I took a nap which sadly extended till 9 pm. I woke up in shock & started working on the forms & my patient pictures to print them out & hand them in the next day. It took me 2 hours to finish them all. Then I went back to studying.. I slept around 3 am since I had to wake up today to beat the 9 am deadline.
I woke up, went to the university & handed in every single paper I had to sign & stamp throughout the year. I walked back to the car empty handed with a full heart. I still can’t believe this is all happening, I still can’t comprehend it all and I still haven’t cried of joy !
Finals are just 5 days away so maybe after I’m really done with CCC I shall feel what I’m supposed to feel.
Now back to my never-ending papers which I have a feeling are populating overnight when I’m asleep !

So today was kinda nice, I managed to study a good amount so far & since the night is still young I may be able to finish a lot more inshallah.
I woke up around 11:30, drank my coffee and walked around the house to find someone to talk to for a change.. That was when it hit me. I am the only member in this family to have actual serious finals! And I’m the eldest! That’s not normal! After lunch I went back to my papers, and at the peak of my focus I get called for a PC crisis.. Mom: “the internet won’t work, and the connection icon disappeared ! Fix it!”. I shook my head knowing that whatever problem our PC had was either so stupid or so complicated that I won’t be able to figure out what it is. And to my relief I discovered that one of the lovely family members palyed with the network setting & disabled the network. It took me exactly 5 minutes to fix it. I got back to my papers to get interruped yet again by my brother walking in & declairing that he has decided to buy a new laptop and wanted my opinion on which one to buy. The only word that came out of my mouth was “Buy a Mac.”. He didn’t like my advice & started giving me other names of laptops. I said: “You get the Mac, look good or buy any other kind & Format it in 3 months?”. Our discussion took around an hour till I kinda brainwashed him into buy the Mac. Which he did ! I felt so evil lol.
I played around with it, set it up for him, dowloaded the main programs & add ons he needed then went back to my papers. Then just about 15 minutes ago I had this strong craving of a bowl of soup ! I’m not kidding it was so strong I had to feed it ! I called my dad and said: “are u in a restoraunt?”. “Yes I am”. “Do they sell soup?”. “Yes they do.”. “Can u get me some? What kinds do they have?”. “Fara7 are u okey? You want soup now?”. I was shocked then looked at the clock & notied it’s a bit late for soup craving lol. I asked him to get me a cream of broccoli soup & went back to my papers.
The best thing about finals, and you being the family nerd is that suddenly all your cravings mush be attended to & fulfilled. Lol I’m loving this feeling ! Dad getting me soup in the middle of the night ! Lool.